❤️
You don’t like overly sweet declarations of love, nor public displays of affection. You are also quite technologically impaired, which is why I’m assuming you’ll never get to read this unless I or someone else shows it to you.
It is 2:35 am on the first day of 2017. You are far away and fast asleep; I know, because I tried calling you and you barely answered. I would’ve wanted to talk to you, maybe reflect on how far we’ve gone from the New Year’s Eve we accidentally spent together two years ago, to the 10 months in between that night, and that week in October leading up to that fateful wedding, with the cuddling in front of the your laptop watching cartoons and the hand holding in convenience stores that filled the gaps of unholy rehearsal hours, to now.
Now, we talk about weddings and rings and dresses and who has to propose, about adopting rescue dogs and Corgis and chickens, about rooms where you can paint and where I can work and display my toys (two different rooms, you never fail to insist). Now, I can’t go a day without seeing you or hearing from you at the very least. Now, I close my eyes and daydream about my future and you’re there, radiant and peaceful and most importantly, right next to me.
We would feel stupid after, talking about those things. Because what we have isn’t still lakes and chirping birds and slow-moving, wispy clouds. What we have is turbulence and raging storms and forrest fires, but also shooting stars and purple sunsets. The dawn breaking after a tornado. A rainbow peeking out of the aftermath of a monsoon. “I’m sorry”, and “I love you” after “I’m so tired” and “I don’t think we’re right for each other”.
We don’t make sense on paper, or anywhere, for that matter. From the outside looking in, there is hardly anything about us that is easy. Even our schedules rarely fit. Our flaws don’t complement each other like puzzle pieces, and natural norms of society aren’t even on our side to begin with. What we are is difficult. A challenge we have to face on our day-to-day.
But when I hold you close as we fall asleep and wake up together, when I feel your head on my shoulder as I drive you home late at night, when you look at me from the passenger seat with those eyes that sparked a hundred words and melodies, when we laugh and touch and dance and sing and kiss, the world melts away. Difficult and challenging becomes natural and easy. Loving you is like picking up a guitar and playing, or building metaphors out of emotions. They flow out of me like a river straight through a waterfall. Loving you is braving the storms and fighting through the tornado because I want the sunrise and the rainbow. Loving you is hard, but so incredibly wonderfully easy.
It is the first day of 2017. You are far away and fast asleep. I am here, grateful that the universe has granted me a whole year with you, and at the same time, I am here, wishing for a hundred more.
ang puno’t dulo ko.
(via lyrics2liveby)
- J: Let's see how we fare after a year.
- N: And what if we fare well?
- J: Then there will be no more farewells.
(via the-absolute-best-posts)
Best bouquet ever 😌